Finding Your Way Back to Connection
Everyone says college will be the best years of your life. They promise you’ll be dazzled by new people, new ideas, new ways of living. But what happens when it’s not? What happens when you find yourself sitting by yourself in a spiderman costume? Or sitting in a crowded lecture hall feeling invisible? Or scrolling through photos of other people’s lives, wondering where you fit in?
At a place as big as UNC-Chapel Hill, it’s easy to feel small. The questions creep in: How do I meet new people when I’m not already part of a group? Where do I find my people? If you’ve ever thought this, know that you’re not alone and loneliness isn’t a flaw in you. It’s a signal—a nudge—to step out into the world and let it meet you halfway.
The truth is, connection doesn’t always happen effortlessly. It takes courage to put yourself out there, to raise your hand, to say, Hi, I’m [insert your name]. Can we talk? But it’s worth it. Because sometimes, the smallest steps lead to the most meaningful friendships. Here’s how to get started:
Join a Student Organization:
Think about what lights you up—hiking, poetry, gaming, activism. Heel Lifeis a treasure trove of clubs that match your interests. Show up to a meeting, even if it feels awkward at first. Sometimes connection starts with simply being in the room.
Try an Intramural Sport:
There’s something about moving your body alongside others that breaks down walls. Whether you’re a seasoned athlete or just looking for fun, IM sports can be a way to bond over shared goals—and maybe a few shared laughs.
Reach Out to Someone:
This is the hard one. The vulnerable one. But it’s also the most powerful. Say hi to the person sitting next to you after class. Ask the acquaintance you see in the dining hall if they’d like to sit with you over lunch. Send a message to that lab partner who seemed kind. People are often waiting for someone to make the first move. Be brave enough to take the lead.
Volunteer:
When you give something of yourself—your time, your energy, your care—you often get something in return: connection. Volunteering links you with people who share your passions and with the communities you want to serve. It’s a reminder that we’re all part of something bigger.
Explore Beyond Campus:
Carolina is your home base, but the wider community is a playground of possibility. Join a local book club, try a climbing gym, sing your heart out at karaoke night. Step beyond the familiar and see what—and who—you discover.
Look Online:
Social media isn’t just for scrolling; it can also be a lifeline. Online groups or local forums can connect you with people who geek out over the same things you do.
And if none of this feels like enough, that’s okay too. CAPS and the Heels Care Network if you feel like you need mental health support. Because sometimes, what we need most is someone to simply listen.
Here at Carolina, we’re one community. You may not know it yet, but your people are here. They’re waiting for you to show up, to take that first step, to say yes to connection. Trust us—you’ve got this.