What Can I Do Right Now to Help?

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  • LISTEN: Yes, just listen, carefully, sensitively, and without judgment. Give them your undivided attention.
  • ACCEPT: Accept this person "as is," without agreeing or disagreeing with his/her behavior or point of view. 
  • EMPATHIZE: Sincerely communicate your understanding of the issue as they describe it, both content and feeling.
  • OFFER HOPE: Help the person understand that the situation can improve, and that things will not always seem so bad. Do not try to evaluate, fix, advise, criticize, moralize, correct, or make decisions for the person. What you would do may not be the best thing for them to do.
  • ENCOURAGE: Encourage the person to continue to talk about their issues, and remind them that it is normal to talk with someone he/she can trust when in need of help. Talking is a natural way to relive stressful emotions.
  • OFFER OPTIONS:The person may find it helpful to Talk with their R.A. or Area Director if they live on-campus
    • Talk with a trusted faculty member
    • Talk with an administrator or staff member
    • Talk with a family member, family physician, or family clergy
    • Talk with a therapist at Counseling and Psychological Service, it's free and confidential.
  • BE AVAILABLE AND FOLLOW-UP: Remain open to further discussions, let them know that you are available if they need you. Check back with the person, because you are their friend and you care how they are feeling.
  • REMEMBER YOUR ROLE AND YOUR OWN LIMITS: As you help your friend, your role is to provide support and to suggest other options when support is not enough. Remember your own limits, do not become more involved than your time and skill permits. If the issues are beyond your ability to help, you may want to call and talk with a therapist at Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) about how you can better help your friend.